Deech Spyslexia

Why do I have this problem?

Example A:
At Burger King:
Me: I would like a Whopper. No Tettuce or Lomato.
Burger King Lady "Do you mean No Lettuce or Tomato?"
Me: "Whatever"

Example B:
Today While Talking to My Mom:
Me: "Have you seen the Pacers? Nice."
Mom (trying to read the article): "What happened?"
Me: "He Shired A Fot!"
Mom: Hysterical Laughter...
Me: "Whatever"