Christmas Lights

Today was the designated day to put up the Christmas lights. Well I say it as thought it were a "we," when in fact, it is really just Mr. Magoo. I just stand around as though I were a union guy who is "in charge" of watching. I used to be the one to do the lights, but then a ladder got involved, and I am afraid of heights. So ended my light involvement.

We both were out there for a while checking the lights from last year. Mr. Magoo has a good habit of actually doing this. I on the other hand throw care to the wind, put them up, and then hope for the best. This has gotten me in a bit of a bind on several occasions, but I still don't remember to check the lights each year. Mr. Magoo plugged them in, and low and behold not one whole strand is working.

We of course thought 2 years ago, "we will outsmart these lights, and buy the expensive kind that won't go out!" Why would you buy the dollar kind when these 10 buck a strand one are obviously superior. Well- apparently there is a reason people buy those cheap lights. The reason is because in the vast amount of things that mankind has created, lights that last for 30 days 2 years in a row just isn't one of them. Sure, we've been to the moon, we can figure out where we are in relation to others on the planet with a GPS, and we can even track a package from one destination to the other. We can NOT, in fact, keep a small light on a strand from burning out on a continual basis. My question to the light people is, why is this different than keeping my entire house lit up? Why can I have about 100 outlets with multiple lights on each one, and yet these don't burn out but maybe once a year. (and this is on a daily use!) All I'm really asking for is a longer than 60 evening use. Maybe in my wildest dreams, we could use them for an extended period of time, and you could get more than one years use out of Christmas lights.

I'm sure all of you conspiracy theorists are thinking that somehow the Christmas light people got together and really thought it would be a good gag. Well- the gag is up! The joke is no longer funny! Listen Christmas light people, you had your laugh, but now we need real lights! Ones that work and that are dependable. Hmmm- now that I think about it maybe I should have typed this in Chinese....

Well- off to help Mr. Magoo go from one light to the next trying to figure out why we bought these things in the first place!